What Brina Piper Had Said...

You’ll be right next to me; I’ll be all like “QUIT HOGGING THE FRIED TWINKIES, BITCH!

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—	Brina, on moderation

I swear, when I get old, Imma be one fat bitch.

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—	Brina, on life goals

The PMS has taken a turn to the Ruby this month.

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—	Brina, discussing pre-menstrual bloat.

If I was a hobo I would totally make BM there

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—	Brina, on community spaces

Why isn’t there a bed in YOUR pool?!

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—	Brina, on water features

My life. Fuck it.

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—	Brina, on optimism

Would it help if I smacked your ass later?

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—	Brina, on sympathy

I feel very handi-capable.

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—	Brina, on being wheelchair-bound at the mall.

Bitches don’t know ‘bout my wordsmithing

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—

Brina

I don’t know how to use bacon as a unit of measurement!

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—

Brina